*20 years later*

Kid: daddy, look what I found in mommy’s old laptop!

Luke: what did you find, sweetie?

Kid: it’s a story about you!

Me: fuck

Luke: really? Why don’t you read some of it to me

Me: NO, wait ple-

Kid: *clears throat* Luke tightened his grip around m-


Kid: my hips and growled against my neck in his Australian accent, as he grinded into me harder with his huge-


Kid: but there’s 247 more pages!



Luke: we need to talk.

Whatever ypu want to know about me..just send me a number!
1- Whats your Birthday?
2- Whats your favorite number?
3- If you were a super hero what powers would you have?
4- Whats your favourite food?
5- Whats your favourite pizza topping?
6- If you were gay who would your life partner be?
7- Have you ever met any celebrities?
8- Have you ever done something heroic?
9- have you ever played a practical joke on anyone?
10- What do you wear to bed?
11- What did you want to be when you grew up?
12- Whats the longest you’ve ever grown your hair?
13- Have you ever had a secret admirer?
14- If you could ask your future self one question what would it be?
15- If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature what new animal would you create?
16- What would be your dream sandwich?
17- How do you have your eggs?
18- Whats your favourite saying?
19- Whats the last thing you took a picture of?
20- Whats your favourite smell/scent?
21- What was the last song you danced to?
22- Have you ever accidentally injured anyone?
23- What historical Figure would you love to see in 21st centuary life?
24- As a kid were you ever frighted of a monster under the bed or in the cupboard?
25- Whats your favourite type of foreign food?
26- Are you a clean or messy person?
27- Which song do you hate the most?
28- If evil-doers invaded your country would you rush to the battlelines to defend the motherland or hide in a box?
30- What horror fiction character scares you the most?
31- Do you love or hate roller coasters?
32- What was the last piece of clothing you purchased?
33- Which forgeign language did you have to learn at school?
34- How tall is the tallest person you know?
35- Have you ever got lost in a maze?
36- Are you scared of thunderstorms?
37- Whats your favorite disney movie?
38- Do you prefer to bathe/shower in the mornings or evenings?
39- Whats your favourite precious stone?
40- Whats the most unusual thing you’ve ever eaten?
41- what flavored popcorn do you have at the movies?
42- If you had a year off, what would you want to do?
43- Are you allergic to anything?
44- Are you ticklish?
45- Do you prefer tea,coffee or cocoa?
46- Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don’t understand or comprehend?
47- Have you ever been to a live concert?
48- Have you ever been to see stand up comedy?
49- Have you ever needed stitches?
50- If you could talk to one species of animal which would it be?
Random questions (via faking—perfection)